You Might Own a Nostalgic If…

datsun_240zWith apologies to Jeff Forxworthy here is a list of twelve things that just might make you the owner of an old car. It was compiled by Yee Chan, a graphic designer whose artistic touches will be seen in the next issue of JNC. We can’t reveal everything just yet but it’s going to look amazing.

His daily driver and only car is the black Datsun 240Z shown above at the 2008 Motorsport Auto Z-Car Nationals (and him hanging out in shades behind it). Funny, we knew his car before we knew him. Anyway, without further ado, you just might own a nostalgic if…

  1. You park far away from everyone to avoid door dings.
  2. You always give the car a backwards glance as you walk away from parking it.
  3. You feel uncomfortable parking it out in the open, where birds can crap on it.
  4. You do not let any valet drive your car.
  5. You sit in the garage, just looking at her.
  6. You love every angle and crease on your car.
  7. You know every nut and bolt has been torqued down or secured with Lock-tite by you alone.
  8. You don’t care about unburned hydrocarbons in the cabin.
  9. A new Corolla is like a luxury limo to you.
  10. You want to drive the car as much as possible (optional).
  11. You are too broke to get another car.
  12. You stopped seeing a girl, because she said something bad about your car.

Yee came up with this list because he’s done them all himself, even the last one, which is pretty hard core. Got any more to add? Let us know in the comments!

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23 Responses to You Might Own a Nostalgic If…

  1. banpei said:

    Check on all points except 5 and 12: garages are scarce in the Netherlands and 12 would be a bit too hard core: I’m married now. :D

    If Yee’s artistic touches are as good as his 240Z I’d say I can’t wait till next issue drops on my doormat! :)

  2. Bob said:

    1-5= No, not at all. In fact, I’ve parked closer to people to offend them as much as possible. I suppose I do glance back at it, but, I glance back at our van too when I park it.

    6. I do. I do see places where I would have done different things if I were a designer, but realize that certain things were watered down for production, so I deal with it.

    7. At some point, hopefully. It takes time to get there.

    8. Yes.

    9. A new Corolla seems like a soul sucking, demonic plastic appliance I want to set on fire while shrieking like a banshee and ripping every internal organ out of the fool who owns it

    10. Yes.

    11. Yes. But it doesn’t stop me from accepting more free cars out of people’s yards…

    12. I had a girl once tell me, “I’m afraid to walk past your car because I feel like someone is going to climb out from underneath it, cut my tendons, and drag me under it to rape me.” Dead serious. And I still pursued her.

    I’m probably kinda different though. :shrug:

  3. Kev said:

    Bob, #12 just means that your car wasn’t slammed enough.

  4. Moisabamf said:

    aside from #1, spot on!

  5. Jimbo said:

    3B: You also worry about parking under trees for fear of sap and who knows what else falling on your baby.

    12B: If you are married, and your wife threatens divorce if you buy another RX-7.

  6. DIASISS said:

    lol!!!!!!!!! i love that!!! i cant tell you how many woman i walk away from if they say they dont love old school japanese cars!

    “new corolla luxury” i agree!

    man this 1 girl tried to tell me at a party that she liked new honda civics and i told that girl “Trick please!!!!” and walked away from her right in front of her and her girlfriends!!!

    the 1st thing i asked my wife when we met was “what kind of cars do you like???!” she said the right answers and weve been married for 5 years now.and im pleased to say i have a 1986 Celica GTS,1988 MKIII Supra,1985 MKII Supra and a 1987 Maxima SE! and were trying to get a 1988 Celica ALLTRAC,1989 Conquest TSI or a 1984 Mazda RX-7 FB…

  7. Bob said:

    Kev, I’m not really sure why she thought anyone could fit under my car, it is pretty low! Smashed oilpans/frame rails/trans pans can attest to that, haha.

  8. _John said:

    I agree with a few of those points. 12 I can definitely agree with. My gf knows that if it comes down to a choice between her and the car she’s gonna be the one going bye-bye

  9. toyotageek said:

    Since I still haven’t found my dream car, I can safely say my wife still comes first. ;)

  10. qdseeker said:

    -You have sealed beam headlight bulbs as opposed to regular bulbs.

    - You’re car came from the factory with only the driver’s side door mirror.

    - You’re car came out before CD players were available in them.

    - You’re car did NOT come out with factory third brake lights.

    - You’re car came with bumpers that preceded you by about a half mile.

  11. retrokid said:

    13. Your neighbors think you’re a relic of the ’70s and ’80s who never advanced after 1987 everytime they walk past your house.

  12. Kev said:

    - you are still angry at the US Government for making the 1st Gen Celica wear impact bumpers

    - at parties, you launch passionately into arguments about why it’s better for mirrors to be on the fenders

    - at least one family pet/child is named Hakosuka

    - you consider fitting 30W Koito sealed beams to be an “upgrade”

    - you scour Youtube looking for Seibu Keisatsu car chases

    - you actually have an opinion about whether the Piazza is better than the AE86 :-)

    - when you meet japanese ppl with the name Watanabe you secretly wonder if they can hook you up with free wheels

    - you consider any wheel with less then 10inches of width and zero offset to have “weak dish”

    - someone tells you they just fitted an oil cooler but you’re puzzled because you can’t see it hanging outside the front of the car

  13. 1. you regularly visit junkyards and surplus parts stores for parts or nostalgic pieces.
    2. you smile everytime you see a japanese classic drive by.
    3. you feel sad everytime you see a neglected or abused japanese classic.

  14. Bob said:

    Kev wins this round. :lol: Very good.

  15. Moisabamf said:

    you consider any wheel with less then 10inches of width and zero offset to have “weak dish”

    i LOL’d at that

  16. Ben said:

    So which is it, Kev? Is your son or your dog that’s named Hakosuka? :P

    This cracked me up: “when you meet japanese ppl with the name Watanabe you secretly wonder if they can hook you up with free wheels”

  17. Kev said:

    Ben it’s true….there was a guy at my company’s Tokyo office with the name Watanabe-san and every time we had a meeting I had no idea what he said because the whole time I’d be like:

    [Homer Simpson]

    …mmmmm….wheeeeeels….*drool*…

    [/Homer Simpson]

  18. slickwrick said:

    hso true

    cept id call a V.I.P style cresta luxury.

  19. Sr-FairladyZ said:

    Kev… LOL. Awesome!

    I’ll add a few..

    - You NEVER leave the house w/o a cell phone, flashlight, razor blade and electrical tape.
    - You keep a newspaper under your seat for those windshield fog-tastic rainy days.
    - Your door seams whistle on the highway.
    - When driving a brand new car, you have trouble keeping it straight because of the power steering.
    - Your arms and clothes smell like raw fuel after long trips (and some short ones). :)
    - While driving you share residence with spiders and other small insects.
    - You can smell rust.

    And to touch on the female aspect of this. My wife has gotten headaches, whiplash and even super soakered in the face from a floor pan hole that submerged into a puddle at 30mph, and she will still not let me say the word “sell”. I guess I do have me a keeper..the wife that is. :)

  20. Kev said:

    - Your kids have a College Fund, you have a Rust Fund

    - A dumb ricer asks you what standalone ecu you are running. You say “Weber!”…with a wink.

    - Your neighbor comes and tells you he bought a Honda Roadster. You say “Awesome!S800 or S600?!” and he says “Err…S2000″.

    - Someone at work has a car that won’t start. You suggest checking the points. They ask what points are and if they are inside the ecu or something.

    - You actually have an opinion about whether the new R35 is a “real Skyline” because it doesn’t have a straight six.

    - A friend complains that their car only gets 20mpg. You secretly think…wow, that’s actually quite good.

    - For you, real Subarus are FWD only.

  21. Ben said:

    “You actually have an opinion about whether the new R35 is a “real Skyline” because it doesn’t have a straight six.”

    As I’m sure you know, the Infiniti EX is called the “Skyline Crossover” in Japan. In other news, Nissan is calling a painting of dogs playing poker “The Last Supper Crossover” and some graffiti under a bridge the “Sistine Chapel Crossover”.

  22. Jimbosaurus said:

    Hahaha! my car is 20 years old now (a 1989 Toyota Corolla 1.6GL) and my girlfriend frequently insists that I sell it once i start flying and get a newer japanese sedan. Im like, what the hell. I’d be playing around with this car and i’d also be getting me a 1977 celica liftback. Im from the Philippines and there are a lot of retro japanese metal rolling around on the streets especially here at Angeles, Pampanga. Often in various stages of neglect. Oh yeah, my corolla whistles on the door seams when it goes past 80 kph. hehe

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