QotW: What’s the best JNC for extreme social distancing?

It looks like this coronavirus social distancing thing is going to last a lot longer than what was initially ordered. In fact, it might be best to take a few months’ supply of food and essentials and escape from civilization altogether.

What’s the best JNC for extreme social distancing?

The most entertaining comment by next Monday will receive a prize. Scroll down to see the winner of last week’s QotW, “What’s the scariest thing you’ve discovered while working on your car?

There were some real horror stories in last week’s crop of comments. Not all of the frightening discoveries on your cars were mechanical, like teddy‘s blood-stained razor blade, or Yuri‘s black widow spider colony. Rusty deathtraps were another common theme, like Keith‘s framerail-shedding Z, Yuri‘s Celica, or Peter Q‘s Vauxhall. And then there were the stories of cars that we are frankly terrified to be sharing the road with, like BliztPig‘s customer’s VW or Steve‘s friend’s F150. However, this week our prize (and our sympathies) go out to Troy, who had the worst string of bad luck on a single car:

I had bought a 1987 Starion as my first car off of an admittedly shady guy on CL, but the price was cheap and it had a fair bit of rust but not too much, so I figured I’d take it as a bit of a project car since it at least needed a fuel pump. Came to find the tank was rusting from the inside, and a lot of other small things turned it into a real project, so after restoring the tank and some other small things I wanted to do the valve cover gasket as it was leaking some oil in the back of the head. Pulled off the valve cover and there were what seemed like mountains of metal shavings in the galleys of the head. I was shocked, and I new this engine did not have a lot of life left in it, so I bought a much nicer one a week later (the idiot that I am because I spun 2 rod bearings 6 months after I got that car) and eventually sold it for a bit more than I bought it for, still not making any profit though. The new owner drove it through a couple of states with no registration whatsoever, amazingly enough, and I figured that car’s off my hands. A couple days later my dad gets a call from the new owner (I was working at the time so my dad sold it to the new owner) . New owner says, “Why is there a lien on the title?” Of course since I never went to register it, I hadn’t looked at the paperwork and had no idea in the first place. I was shocked again! I got him the info to the guy that sold the car to me, and vanished, I did not have or want anything to do with that car anymore. Since then, I haven’t seen it anywhere, not even on the forums. Kind of glad about that…

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15 Responses to QotW: What’s the best JNC for extreme social distancing?

  1. Crank_case says:

    You’ve got this backwards. Forget your notions of bugout vehicles and getting away, as you won’t be allowed travel far from home anyway.

    One way or another you’re going to need supplies at some point, so get yourself a Daihatsu Midget and suddenly every store is a drive-through.

  2. エーイダン says:

    Easy. Nissan Skyline Patrol Car. Sirens make social distancing simple because everyone will get out of the way for you. Or better yet, take a Nissan Patrol and deck it out in black with tinted windows, add a blue siren mounted out of sight from the exterior, add the police-style rims from a Ford Taurus Interceptor and away you go. Add a faux radio antenna made from a wire coathanger, paint that matte black and take a rubber stopper from a mesh shelf rack and bang! Social distancing made easy.

  3. Lee L says:

    This is going to sound ridiculous, but I’m going to say an S30 2+2.

    Here are my reasons-

    1. It’s ugly, so no one is going to want to talk to you. Perfect for social distancing
    2. It’s pretty spacious in the back. Take out the rear seats and you’ve got enough space for a small bed and lots of supplies
    3. The S30 is known to have off-road potential, it was a rally beast
    4. Even though it’s a 2+2 at least you’re spending your time in an S30!

  4. Angelo says:

    Drive something like a black G20 Toyota Century, tint out the windows and shut the rear curtains, and people would seriously consider going out of your way.

    Just make sure you get on the Yakuza’s good side though.

  5. Negishi no Keibajo says:

    Hino 500 fitted for Dakar Sugawara style. Employ the laws of physics: there ain’t nothin’ like horsepower & there ain’t nothin’ like mass.

  6. Steve says:

    What better car to escape from the armed hordes trying to rob you of your stash of toilet paper than Bond’s 2000GT convertible? But, I’d rather have a cardboard cutout of Kissy Suzuki instead of Aki in the passenger seat…

  7. dankan says:

    The best way to socially distance yourself is to be alone; so the best car for social distancing is one you don’t have to share. Clearly, that means the Daihatsu Midget is not just the hero we deserve, but the hero we need in these dark times.

    I’ll take mine in a pale yellow, with gunmetal RS Watanabe 8-spokes.

  8. Ian says:

    My old ’95 Toyota Previa SC aka the MR-7 (mid-engine rear drive 7 passenger).. You can remove the middle bench and have room for the dog and all sorts of food and gear. It was awesome for camping and getting away from it all. The van was quick enough and nimble to go through all the drive-thru’s. I think I need to go find another one.

  9. AndyP says:

    For extreme social distancing, you need something that is capable of getting you into the loneliest corners of the world and back again. You need an FZJ80 Land Cruiser. It’s simple enough to work on by yourself if necessary, robust enough that little work should be required at all, and it has the off-road capability from the factory (especially with the optional electronic diff locks) to climb away from the more pedestrian wilderness that the rest of humanity could reach without help. Tap into the plentiful aftermarket for a lift kit, beefed-up tires, and a rooftop tent, and you won’t need to see another soul for as long as you desire.

  10. Lil Yung Killah Pandaface says:

    It’s the Mitsuoka Orochi.

    It’s so damn ugly it’ll do all the social-distancing work for you!

  11. Wayne Thomas says:

    Mitsubishi Fusa bus converted to RV.

  12. Dirty_S30 says:

    There are many options available for good social distancing JNCs. The first that comes to mind is a riced out, rusted out Honda CRX. No one would want to come near it because of all the rust holes and the obnoxious straight piped, leaking exhaust would drive away even the most persistent. But because I do not want to stir up any Honda Hate, (I personally have a great respect for Hondas). That brings me to another unapproachable car, but for a much different reason, the Toyota 2000GT. With a resale value of over a million dollars, who would want to approach one. “Um, sorry sir, I think scratched your car. That’ll buff out though, right? Here, I think my shirt is cotton”. A MkIV Supra with a nice exhaust or a 4 rotor RX-7 FD would keep people away for sure. Although I am certain there are many fans who would risk bleeding ears to get a close look at either car. I know would. With the possible exceptions of smaller individuals, none of these cars offer adequate sleeping room, however. Which brings me to my next option, a Talibanned out Toyota HiLux Diesel with a .50 caliber mounted in the bed. A HiLux will run literally forever, the mounted hardware is sure to keep away the unwashed hordes, most people wont get too close anyway, because I looks like just another pickup truck, and there is probably enough space in the bed to sleep. But what if it rains? You could get a Mitsubishi Delica Starwagon and rip out all the rear seats, or you could keep the HiLux and throw on an Overlander tent. The only hurdle there would be to position it so as not to get in the way of the .50 cal. Stay safe and healthy everyone.

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