JNCer's Datsun 510 Rant Makes Us LOL

datsun5101
We get a lot of strange letters in our inbox here at JNC headquarters and most of them just leave us scratching our heads. But once in a while a shining gem rises above the chaff to make our bellies ache with laughter. Marcus H.’s rant was so well-written and funny that we cannot improve on it at all, so we’ll just print it in its entirety:

Hey, what’s up… Don’t know you guys, but if you’re anything like me, you might want to see this (if you haven’t already):

1971 Datsun NISSAN PL510.

Now, far be it from me to knock one man’s interpretation of what may easily be one of the most important cars of our time, but as the owner of a 510 myself I couldn’t help but cringe (read: gag) upon seeing this today.

No homage paid to the dime’s glorious, almost surreal, race pedigree… earned the hard way on a hot track against Deutschland and Italia’s best and brightest. No, no, instead we have lightning-bolted, Corolla-powered, Jimmy Neutron donked to the gills and, of course, sittin’ high on them Chrome Thangs. IMHO, a freakish, airbrushed nightmare, desperately searching for an identity (and apparently finding the wrong one).*

The crazy thing is that this 510 is getting strong money (over $12,000 as of right now), and its still 6 days out. Unreal!!! By the way, still not at reserve. Guy says there is 40 large into this build. WTF???

The irony here being that there was a white (actually light green – Ed.) example on ebay a couple days ago:

1972 Datsun 510.

This complete, original, unmolested example sold for a fourth of where this car is right now… with an alleged 58,000 miles on the clock! Have I been doing something wrong all these years?

Thanks for listening to my rant, just thought you guys might get a kick out of it…

Sincerely Confused,
Longtime JNC blog reader (and original JNC Mag subscriber)

Marcus H.

BTW… KEEP UP THE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING JOB!!! YOU GUYS PROVIDE AN INVALUABLE SERVICE TO THOSE OF US WHO RESPECT AND CHERISH THESE GEMS AS THE RIGHTFUL CLASSICS THEY ARE!!! JNC IS A BEACON OF LIGHT IN THE SEA OF SAMENESS THAT IS THE INTERNET(S)… YOU GUYS F*****N’ RULE!!!

*All views expressed above are solely my own, if you would like to blow $40,000+ turning a Piece of History into a POS, you have every right in the world to do precisely that. These are my views, go get your own…

Bravo, Marcus, brah-vo! For making us laugh our keisters off, you get one (1) free Hot Wheels Datsun 510 which, tragically, does not have an airbrushed mural of Jimmy Neutron on it.

datsun510_hotwheels

permalink.
This post is filed under: datsun, nissan and
tagged: , .

11 Responses to JNCer's Datsun 510 Rant Makes Us LOL

  1. banpei said:

    I think I’d better start searching the attic for that old airbrush set I once bought when I was 18 and start painting a few things on my Carina and make some mad money out of it! :D
    Apparently we are doing something wrong!!

  2. Guyon said:

    What a piece of crap. Nice prize though, I have the #102 Datsun 510 in the picture, it’s so amazing!

  3. Dan said:

    For a dollar, I’d buy that Hotwheels over the Dummy Neutron abomination anyday

  4. Jesse said:

    I have to admit, I’m disappointed by the general lack of taste and class in the automotive world right now. I agree with Dan though, I’d prefer the Hot Wheels over that idiotic showpiece.

  5. Datnut said:

    What a waste of Bluebird tail lights.

  6. He had me at chrome thangs…

  7. Nigel said:

    If you were to say, steal those Giant wheels you would have four really awesome
    boat anchors.

  8. Sarcasmo said:

    Regardless of how it’s customized.. at least it’s restored and running. Would you rather it be another extinct 510? Unreal. :(

  9. Sarcasmo said:

    Unreal, booger flickin, unreal.

  10. Marcus H. said:

    Sarcasmo,
    When I wrote this piece, I was simply making the observation that a low mileage stocker, would be worth a quarter of an unknown mileage custom.
    I know guys that have spent MUCH less than 40k, and produced a car infinitely superior, in both performance and looks, to this one.
    Call me a purist, but the 510 is revered today because of what it did to both the public’s perception and Europen motorsport’s prejudices against the fledgling Japanese auto industry. Even today our cars are worth far less because of this long standing bias.
    Is this done to Alpha GTVs? Mercedes 300SLs? Lancias? Even the mighty Hakosuka? No, of course not. These cars demand our respect, and are NEVER treated as anything less than the Legends they are. When people see the Jimmy Neytron, they are gonna assume that’s what a 510 is – a cartoonish spectacle to be openly laughed at (and privately whispered about), as it rolls past on those shiny 18’s. If this guy wanted to do that, he should have bought an ’86 Cutlass.
    We have all worked too hard to get our old Jap cars the respect they deserve. I’ll admit that I’d rather see any dime restored and running, than in the Great JY in the Sky. BUT PERSONALLY, if I had the choice of sending my car to the crusher, or having it end up in the hands of someone who would do this to it, I’ll press the button myself!!!

Comments are closed.