Purists may balk, but like it or not, Top Gear USA is coming. One of the hosts was revealed to be Adam Carolla, a comic who built his career on making jokes about STDs and hosting shows whose main feature was girls jumping on trampolines. We’re not sure how well this bodes for the Top Gear franchise, but at least we now know that at least two Top Gear hosts own Datsuns.

Carolla owns a BRE replica 510, a race-modified Fairlady Roadster, and his latest acquisition, a ‘72 Bob Sharp 610, as reported by Motor Trend. The article also mentions the rest of Carolla’s collection, which consists mostly of high-dollar Euro exotica, and discusses his hatred for his Mazda pickup and why a 200,000-mile ‘85 Toyota Supra was the worst car he’s ever owned.

[Motor Trend]

Here’s another speculation about the alleged 2010 Supra found in Japan’s BestCar magazine. Ugly, ugly, ugly. The FT-HS concept looked cool because of its angular lines, but this thing just looks like a piece of hard candy that’s been sucked on for 20 minutes. At least the 370Z resembles the 350Z, which resembles (vaguely) the 240Z. The massive intercooler is nice and all, but it’d be much nicer if the car had some remote semblance of Supras past. If this is indeed in the works, let’s just hope Toyota reaches out to fans before tooling up the sheetmetal stamps.

[JPCN via Jalopnik]

This one goes out to all the MkII Supra owners out there. Never say JNC doesn’t love ya. As you know, the second-gen Toyota Celica Supra was known as the Celica XX in Japan, and this commercial for the home market from 1983 contains more 80s cliches than a cocaine overdose on Wall Street. Special effects drawn by a Commodore 64, bluish neon that glows like a Tron nightclub, Grace Jones, and music that can only be described as Depeche Mode and the Pet Shop Boys beating each other to death with their keyboards… it’s all there. And what is up the suggestive placement of the Super Sports Machine’s headlights in the final shot? Double X double entendre, anyone?

What’s crazier than an Australian footballer? Or do they call it soccer down there? We don’t know the answer to the latter, but to the former, the answer is: his car. Check out this story on Autospeed, about Michael Galluzzo’s ultra-early 1969 240Z powered by a 7M-GTE from an A70 Toyota Supra. This does not appear to be the same video in which such a setup races, and beats, a Ferrari, but perhaps our Aussie readers can clarify. All we know is, this has “Ace Hoon Potential” written all over it.

Spotted on the 101 just outside of San Francisco, the big brother of the random third-gen Celica from earlier today. Specimens like the Celica are rare enough on the east coast, but smooth, cleanly modded rides like this Supra - also rendered in beautiful, simple white - are like an Ogopogo sighting. The Mk II Supra has always been one of our favorites, for exuding just the right balance of 1980s rakish sportiness and angular Japanese boxiness, and for looking like nothing else on the road. And, rather than attempt to hide it’s bumpers and door guards in body-colored plastic, this one wears its black trim as proudly as Cindy Crawford’s mole.  Slam one on classic JDM rims and you’ve got a breathtaker.  We salute you, unidentified Supra driver.

We were going to keep our mouths shut, seeing as how the original Transformers cartoon debuted in 1984 and isn’t quite old enough yet, but we simply could not remain silent on the issue any longer. Something had to be done. Our fondest bastions of childhood bliss are being unceremoniously eroded by a cash-hungry Hollywood machine bent on nothing but satisfying its basest urges.

But of what straw do we speak that has broken our wistful camel’s back? Answer: the theme song, released earlier today, to the new Transformers live-action movie. First, a warning: DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS SONG. It’s very bad. It’s available here for download, but we would be morally remiss if we didn’t advise against it. Seriously. Don’t do it.

It always raises an eyebrow when something recent appears on a “Best of” list, before said thing’s novelty and buzz have fully died down and before it has passed the test of time. However, we can safely say, without regret or hyperbole, that this nu-metal Transformers chant is the worst movie theme song ever made.

It’s so bad, a hyper-intelligent AI may have to be created just to devise a way of accurately expressing how utterly bad this song is. It absolutely destroys both Batdance and Madonna’s Bond theme where she mistakenly thought she was hired to write a song for Analyze This. We thought Mortal Kombat was horrible, but this takes the cake, the pastry shop, and the entire concept of baked goods.

And just when we thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse, the roll call begins. Why the roll call? Why, WHY! The very notion of the roll call should have been purged from the pool of human knowledge when the Mortal Kombat theme was created, but at least it’s usage was reminiscent of the game. Here, it comes out of nowhere as unexpectedly and unwantedly as rhododendrons blooming from our nostrils.

If an alien civilization heard this song, they would clearly have no choice but to conclude that we were a species devoid of culture and vaporize Earth.

The sad part is, that despite our lack of enthusiasm for Michael Bay films, the trailer did seem to redeem itself with the promise of neat robot/car stunts. Unfortunately, this song came into existence and became a giant allegory for all the opportunities squandered in the making of this movie. How cool would it have been to see Bluestreak (pictured, upset at song) or Prowl reincarnated as a NISMO 350Z, Downshift reprise his role as an A60 Supra, or Cliffjumper sliding by as an AE86?

Instead, we have GM product placement galore with Jazz as a Pontiac Solstice, Bumblebee as a Camaro and Ratchet as a Hummer H2. We would have accepted, insisted on, even, Tracks as a Corvette C6, but the entire lineup? Not to mention all the original characters that have been cut. At least we have Hasbro’s lineup of Transformers Alternators to create our own battles over energon with.

Sorry for the string of movie-related posts. We’ll be back to blogging about nostalgics next time.

Thanks (or should we say curses!) to Idolator for the tip. Image courtesy of botchthecrab.